wish i had a bit going where whenever i said “the prophecy” like three of my friends would repeat “the prophecy” in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player
okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world
be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it.
okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right
first:
the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!!
how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp
“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!”
“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.”
i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits
second:
my friend group echoes. a lot
someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!”
often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental”
ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding
i am not going to be thwarted again
my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me
“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!”
“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult
and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides”
two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say
and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around
which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards
This is an acrylic magnifying glass with a green strip in it that helps you read long strings of numbers! It’s been known for a while that putting a colored filter over pages can help people with dyscalculia read numbers without them flipping places, but this is the first time I’ve seen something so simple and accessible. I put it on some test numbers and my eyes didn’t feel like they kept wanting to jump around all over the number. I can keep this on my desk and use it on paper, or hold it up to my monitor to read long numbers at work! It may help people in other ways as well, this is just what I bought it for and I already love it!
I found it at a Daiso location, but there are probably others online.
Spread the word!
EDIT: It’s also like $2, so pretty much anyone who needs it can afford it!
Sometimes, a fic doesn’t have to get published, it can just be a series of messages on a Discord channel, between a dedicated group of friends going “oooh, you know what else would be cool?” continuously over a period of weeks and months :)
This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to making up stories around a fire with friends btw.
Me, in a hushed voice, dramatically, while roasting a marshmallow over the fire: And so… The Blorbo that was sad and alone… Was not alone anymore.
My friends, collectively, every single time (while also roasting marshmallows): Oh my god, The Blorbo wasn’t alone anymore… 😭😭😭
This is entirely valid and I think we as a society have put so much value on completed, polished narratives that we forget how this kind of storytelling can be just as much fun. Maybe you aren’t a novelist, and can’t polish it into a traditional novel-style story… But who cares? It was fun to make , it was fun to hear, and that’s what really matters.
idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it
